DBlog Week Day 1: I Can

Diabetes Blog Week returns, run as always by the wonderful Karen at bittersweet diabetes.com
The first topic of the week is "I can" where she writes "In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?”

I think the one accomplishment I am the most proud of is finishing the HSC (final exams in New South Wales high schools) and getting into my desired university course.
My HSC was a really big deal for me. In hindsight, too big.
I was obsessed.

I had a little number in my head that I had to achieve. I wanted a 90. I was going to get my 90. Nothing would stop me getting my 90. I had decided way back in year 9, just after I got diagnosed, that I wanted to be a speech pathologist. I stumbled across the career in a Job Guide and thought it was the perfect match. it combined all of my previous career aspirations (doctor, English/HSIE teacher, and psychologist) into one neat little bundle. To get into my course I needed a number in the 90s, and with bonus points I knew that as long as I got a 90, I would be in.

Every little percentage mattered to me. Everyone told me to just try my best, so I did exactly that. I studied, I lapsed, I watched all the seasons of M*A*S*H, I got back on to the study and I did it. My diabetes threw curveballs at me all year. My life threw curveballs at me all year. I had to fight for exam provisions at times, much to my annoyance. I got overwhelmed again and again. My poor family had to put up with me on the verge of a break down before every single test and assignment. My anxiety was rated at “extremely severe” during my HSC year. My a1c was creeping upwards.

But despite all of the crazy, the drama, the angst, and the hissy-fit throwing diabetes, I got my 90.
I beat that goal by 5.

And I have never been more satisfied with a result in my life. That little number was the result of every ounce of effort I had.

I finished that stupid, far less meaningful than I thought year. I wrote a major work about the perceptions surrounding type 1 and type 2 diabetes. I got into my course.
No, I didn’t treat myself particularly nicely. Yes, I was a bit deranged. No, I wouldn’t do it like that if I had my time again.

But I did it. I did all of that with diabetes, and I am still incredibly proud of that achievement.

Comments

  1. The whole time I was reading this, I just wanted to give you a huge hug!! You rock and I'm so proud of you!

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    1. Thank you! I know, I think about my HSC year and am forever torn between wanting to hit myself or give myself a hug.

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  2. So glad you got your score in the 90's with and despite diabetes. Your jelly bean blog design is great!

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    1. Thanks! Quite a few bloggers have a similar style haha
      Adds some colour :)

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  3. Congratulations! That's an amazing achievement.

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  4. Aww, I agree with Karen-hugs to you! Thanks for sharing :)

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    1. Hugs are always appreciated :) Thanks for reading!

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  5. OMG you smashed that HSC!!!! And with diabetes in tow. Go you!!!

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    1. Haha my level of excitement was insane. I thought they'd made a mistake for a bit there! Thanks :)

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