Anxiety: the silent saboteur

As it's mental health month and today is focused on anxiety I thought it would be a great opportunity to talk about anxiety specifically. Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia. Check out Beyond Blue for information https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/what-causes-anxiety

Anxiety disorders are so often written off as ridiculous. Stop worrying. Stop over thinking.
My personal favourite? Don't stress.

Yeah look, if it were that easy I wouldn't have been paying for 6 years of treatment.

We all experience anxiety. That rush of adrenaline, that worry about a big job interview. But it becomes a problem when you're anxious chronically, with no particular trigger, and your anxiety is impacting your day to day functioning.

I have an anxiety disorder that's a mix of many characteristics of different things. Over the years it's presented in different ways. As a kid I was so perfectionistic I would cry if I couldn't do something right the first time. I would feel sick a lot and not understand why. As a primary school child I would wake up in the night and think over the day, pacing my room as the thoughts rushed in of all the "bad" things I'd done.

When I got to high school it turned physical. I was on the verge of vomiting before most exams. I got diagnosed with t1 and I started checking my sugar obsessively, afraid of what it would do when I wasn't watching. I would set my alarm for 3am to make sure it was okay overnight. I would over eat out of hypos and not bolus for all my food because I was afraid of hypos. Eventually I started getting nauseous and dizzy when I was away from home every day. I felt trapped.

All the while, I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought I was really ill, or there was something wrong with my brain. I was exhausted all the time.

Thankfully I don't have that very often any more. But I do spend a lot of time with awful thoughts on a rotation.

The phone rings, I assume someone's died. My supervisor calls a meeting, I must be failing.

It's catastrophic tangents: If I leave my charger on, the carpet could catch fire, burning down the house.

It's deep seated doubts that I can make anything worthwhile of myself.

It's waking up with muscle tension and knowing this is going to be an anxiety day.

It's an anxiety disorder. So stop telling me stop worrying. You might as well tell me not to breathe.
I've had this for a really long time and I've come a long way. But there's a lot further to go.

Anxiety is no joke. It's likely you and/or someone you know experiences anxiety to some degree. Anxiety is not less than depression, it's not something to be pushed aside as a quirk.
Don't let anxiety be your silent saboteur, ask for help.

Comments

  1. Great post :) I'm glad you are learning to live well with anxiety. As you say, we have anxiety days. They dont last forever, but they still happen, and its not always logical.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye for now

2017- Part 2

T1 Talk: World Diabetes Day Edition (Part Two)