Sweet and Sour- The Type 1 Diabetes Rollercoaster

The 21st of September marks World Alzheimer's Day, a part of World Alzheimer's Month. My grandmother had dementia (likely of the Alzheimer's-type) for many years and passed away in 2014. We're encouraged to use this month to focus on the prompt "Remember Me", where you reflect on your favourite memories, or those of a loved one. These aren't my favourite memories, but they're important ones. I wrote about some of the good memories here .  I have never hidden my diabetes from anyone except my grandmother, and it was quite the effort. For four years I didn't test my sugar in front of her, didn't touch my pump, and didn't say a word about my now broken pancreas. She never knew about this really big part of my life, and that makes me incredibly happy in some ways, and sad in others. Not knowing about it meant that I couldn't share some of my achievements with her, like starting work with Trapeze, or doing my major work in high school. Bu...

I've been working as a youth representative for Trapeze for a few years now, and have found that patient advocacy has become a huge part of my life. As a part of this role I recently made this short spiel on the importance of providing care that is age and stage appropriate. Huge steps are being taken toward making youth friendly services for young people with chronic illness, which is very exciting! (Apologies for the loud clang at the beginning. I'm uncoordinated even when sitting down) I've spent quite a lot of time lately wondering how I can make my interests work together. Speech pathology and patient advocacy for young people with chronic illness. They just didn't seem to gel together the way I'd like. Now that I don't have placement on I've found myself with time. Instead of using this like a normal person would (by relaxing), I chose to apply for a scholarship and write a voluntary essay this past week. Sounds insane. It probably is. But ...

Sometimes my diabetes gets the best of me. Sometimes it means I can't do things I would like to and when it happens I feel angry. Really really angry. I hate that my body attacked itself and that even when the brain is willing sometimes the rest of me isn't. It's almost like I've lost control of how my body functions, and lost confidence that it can function correctly. So, being the stubborn cow I am, sometimes I fight back. With myself... yup. I've been walking every day lately (yes I know, EXERCISE. I can hardly believe it either) and today was no exception. I was looking forward to walking back to the station from uni with a friend. I'd been hanging out all day through a stats lecture and tutorial to be outside again. I walked to uni that morning as well, who knew exercise made you feel better? But when the time came my level was 5.0 with a bunch of insulin still in my system from a later lunch. It was dropping quickly into the 4s and as it did I gre...

There's a bit of a theme lately from a few of us in the DOC. From Frank's post on guilt to Kelly's tweet  on the brain never being off, it seems we're all experiencing the same thing. You can't switch off the diabetes brain. At some level I'm always aware of my diabetes. From the moment I wake up, to the last check before I sleep. No food is not thought about, whether I carb count it properly or not. There's a constant stream of questions running through my head: - When did I last eat? - What did I last eat? - Did I finish that? Did I get enough of the carbs? Do I need more carbs? But I'm not hungry. - When am I supposed to eat again? - How much insulin do I have active right now? - Do I have to walk anywhere soon? How far? How long after I've eaten am I walking somewhere? - Am I doing something different tonight? Do they have gluten free food? Is it gluten free food with carbs in it? Will I be home late? Am I sleeping at home? Should I s...