Goodbye for now

"I am a type 1 diabetic.

And this? Well, this is my attempt at making people understand what type 1 is, and what it’s like."

It feels surreal to be writing this. I wrote those words on the 8th of May, 2013 in my first ever blog post. I was 17, in Year 12 at school and had just had my third diaversary. I was excited to try this blogging thing, but also incredibly nervous about sharing my personal stories with a big audience. My goal was to teach friends and family about my life with Type 1, in the hope to minimise the number of stupid comments I got.

But then it occurred to me that people I didn't know might read it too.

What if they didn't like me?
What if they thought I was stupid?
What if absolutely no one ever reads a single thing I write and this is a big embarrassing flop?

None of those things happened, but so much more did. I met some amazing people along the way, got my foot in the advocacy door and accidentally became a mental health advocate in the diabetes space.  This blog has followed me through so many ups and downs.

Here's a snapshot:
- I was an insecure, passive, anxious ball of angst obsessed with getting into my uni degree
- I got my license
- I graduated high school
- I had a host of Harry Potter named insulin pumps (Dobby, Snape, and Tonks)
- I ranted about Jamie Oliver
- I turned 18 and got hit over the head with responsibilities
- I started uni
- I made new friends
- I lost some loved ones
- I struggled with my mental health
- I struggled with my degree
- I got a CGM
- I considered throwing my CGM out a window
- I embraced my CGM
- I moved house
- I finished my degree

I shared my frustrations, sadness, victories, silly stories and rants with this blog. I connected with people all over the globe. I got to make a tiny bit of difference to a few people.

And now? I'm a full time Speech Pathologist living my high school dream. I think back to who I was when I wrote my first post and can hardly recognise myself. Sure, I'm still facing lots of challenges. My T1 will always be there. My mental health will always be something I'm working on. But I've definitely grown up a lot over the years.

A few words of thanks (also in list format because yes, I still like lists):
- To my family for being the first readers of this blog. Thank you for learning about my life with T1. I can't tell you how much it meant to have you all understand me a bit more.
- To my friends who constantly supported my blogging
- To the OzDOC community, particularly my fellow old school bloggers. There's too many to name but Frank at type1writes and Ashleigh at Dreams of Lewis were two people I connected with through blogging. I've valued your friendship over these years. Thanks for spurring me on and sharing your lives with me
- And a big thank you to every person who has ever read here! I look at my view counts every so often and my mind is blown. I don't know why you read, but thank you for reading! Thank you for every comment and email you've sent over the years. I've felt so special and valued

I'm sad to leave this blog, but I know it's time. I feel some guilt because I know the mental health section of the t1 community is rather small, and I'm taking my voice away from it now too. But this blog has achieved it's aim of educating. It's also been a great outlet for me to talk about things I struggled to say in person.

I'm not good at goodbyes so I'm leaving the door open. Maybe I'll write again, but for now I'll leave you with the one thing I wanted you to take away from all of this:

Type 1 Diabetes is a chronic, complex and deeply impacting health condition. It is not a choice, nor a consequence of lifestyle factors. It's hard work and it never goes away. Treat people with chronic illness with understanding, patience, and the respect you would give to anyone else.

I may have Type 1 Diabetes, but it will never have me.

Thank you for sharing my journey.
Bec x