It must be easy
Here's a common question... or statement.
"Does it get easy over time?" or "It must be easy now you've had it so long".
The answer isn't a simple one.
Is it easier than being first diagnosed? Yes. A resounding yes. New diagnosis is scary because you've got no idea what's going on, what's normal for you, what everything feels like and how to manage difficult situations. I didn't know anyone with it so at the same time you're trying to explain this new thing to everyone around you. You're more touchy to other's reactions and comments at the start as well.
Now when I hear these comments I want to educate rather than take offence. I also have a clearer idea of how my body works and what to watch for.
But no, it's not easy. Right now I'm actually having a hard time with my blood sugars. Usually there's a pattern of blood sugars when you need an insulin adjustment. For example, you might have high sugars when you first wake up and then go low after breakfast. So in that case maybe your basal rate overnight is too low and your breakfast bolus is too high or your insulin sensitivity is off. Could be anything, but at least there's a few ideas.
Not this time. My sugars have been consistently high for a while now, so I'm exhausted all the time. Trying to study full time, work two jobs, have something resembling a social life and dealing with high sugars all the time is proving difficult. I sat an exam yesterday with a sugar of 17. Fuzzy high sugar brain wasn't particularly helpful when you're trying to write. Today continued the same way until out of nowhere I caught an incoming low at 4.2. Now it's 20, go figure. To put this in perspective, your (for those reading with a functioning pancreas) sugar doesn't change much during the day. You sit easily in that 4-7 range. I'd even say 4-6. On a very good day mine might be 4-9. Today, my range was 4-20 and I experienced that particular jump in 2 hours. Today I had a different dinner and dessert, but yesterday I went up to 17 with a typical breakfast... if someone works that one out let me know.
This is what t1 is, doesn't matter how long you've had it. But you get better at managing it when these curveballs come around.
Sometimes I'm fine and just run it as usual. Sometimes I want to just stay in bed and sleep. My lows still feel the same. My highs still leave me like this- exhausted and with a strong appreciation for clean drinking water. That's the thing about chronic illness, it's.. well, chronic!
No. It's not magically easy now I've had it 6 years. It's still the same illness. Right now it's being disgusting. Is it always this disgusting? No, not at all. Am I really over it right now?